when the morning comes
by ASongInMyHead
Summary: The past could not be forgotten, but they would much rather turn toward the future.


The curious thing about broken hearts is how they well they can heal, if only they are properly cared for. Wounds may leave scars, but given enough time, they become a little less painful.

Lief curled his fingers around his wife's, as early-morning sunlight streamed into the bedroom. He thought, as he often had in recent months, that he could not possibly be any happier. Jasmine had woken first, as she usually did, and he had followed shortly afterwards, but they were in no hurry to rise. They had suffered enough. Daylight could hold its breath.

"What is it?" Jasmine asked, her words whispering across his skin. She was close to him, as she always was, as she always would be. They laid their love plain for Deltora to see; even when they were not touching, their fingers always drifted close, promises whispered through skin.

Lief grinned and squeezed her calloused fingers tighter. "I love you."

She smiled and kissed his nose. "But that is not what you are thinking of. Something is troubling you."

Lief let go of her hand and let his own travel lower, to the swell of her belly. "Not at all, I swear it. It is just… do not laugh, but does it not seem incredible to you that—after everything that has happened— we get to be this happy?"

Her fingers joined his again and she shrugged. "I do not look at the past the way you do, I think. What has happened has already happened. I would rather look ahead."

Lief smiled. Her answer did not surprise him. Jasmine had always been good at trudging forward, no matter what obstacles tried to block her way.

"In any case," he said, "there is still more good to come. Like our child. It has been months, and we have not even begun to speak of names, Jasmine! If I am to look ahead, that is what I would like to see."

"I thought names would be obvious," Jasmine said. "Anna, if we have a girl, of course."

Lief nodded, for what other name would they pick? "And if we have a boy?"

"Endon," she said, as if he should have known that too.

A sword of ice seemed to pierce his belly, and he drew her hands close to his heart, drawing his strength from hers. He remembered his father's smiling bearded face, and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. Jasmine brought her hand to the side of his face, and Lief took a steadying breath.

"I do not think that is a good idea," he told her slowly, for each word caused him pain.

"Why not?" Jasmine's green eyes were steady on his.

"Many in Deltora cursed his name long before he ever even fled the palace. I would not wish for a child to carry that burden."

"Anyone who still thinks that way is a fool," Jasmine said, and sat up. "Your father was a good man, Lief."

He gave her a wobbly smile, and did not bother to blink back his tears. "You did not know him."

"No," she agreed as he straightened up. "But you did. And you loved him. And so did Sharn and Barda and Doom. That is enough. I knew him because you did."

Lief's heart felt very full as she pulled him close."You could tell me about him, love, if you would like," she said.

He pressed a kiss against her shoulder, and remembered.

He told her of how his father would laugh and carry him on his shoulders around the forge when he was very small. Of how patient he had been as he taught Lief how to make a horseshoe, and wield a sword. Of Endon's kindness and generosity to customers who could not afford their purchases. Of his frustrated curses on long days when his leg made even simple movement difficult. Of the way he always ensured Barda always had a hot meal. Of the smile in his eyes when he looked upon Sharn. Lief told her all of this, and more.

When he finished, he was exhausted, although it was barely even time for breakfast. He touched a hand to his face, and found it was wet, although he could not say when he had begun to cry. He looked up into her loving eyes, and saw that she had been crying, too.

"You miss him," Jasmine said simply, passing a hand over her eyes. Lief knew she had been thinking of her mother.

"So much," his voice broke. "There are so many parts of him that even I will never really know. And it hurts that there always will be people who will think so little of him."

She was quiet for a moment. "All the more reason for us to name one of our children after him. They will not share our pain, or face the hardships that our parents did. And the people will think of Endon's name in a different way."

Lief was silent.

"But I still believe that anyone who thinks wrong of him is a fool."

He could not help but laugh, and he felt her own laughter vibrate through her bones. Lief raised his head and wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his nightshirt. Jasmine looked at him, her eyes so full of love, and of peace— a word that still tasted unfamiliar on their tongues. Whatever she might say, Lief did believe that there was something special about their happiness. It had not been handed to them; they had fought for it, with the blood and dirt that caked under their fingers to show for it.

He kissed her then, and like every countless kiss they had shared, it felt like coming home. He did not know what kind of person their baby might grow to be, but he knew that the child would be loved, no matter what name they carried. And all of their children would hear of the great bravery held by their grandparents.

"Let us not think of the past or future today," Lief said, and he gently pulled away. "Whatever will be, will be. And it is a beautiful morning, my love."


End file.
